Me and 700 of my closest friends in the theater at the conference
The conference I attended included 700 people from 70 countries who gathered together to watch the talks on screens, play games, talk, party, and figure out how to make the world—and our events—better. I found a roommate via the Facebook group, another ginger-haired German event organizer from Canada.
Having been to lots of conferences, I knew in advance not to over-commit myself. Don’t join anything, sign up for anything, or plan on any evening events. Pay attention to my energy, take naps if I needed to, trust that I would meet the people I was supposed to meet and let the experience wash over me.
While I can definitely seem extroverted, I know that I am an introvert, when introversion is defined as “where you get your energy.” At the end of a party, or a day at a conference, extroverts have more energy and are ready for more. Introverts are drained and need to go to bed, sit in a hot tub alone, or chat with just one person in a corner.
My roommate, a classic extrovert, sprang awake each day at 6 am, did cross-fit, chatted madly with everyone, and stayed out later each night. I went to bed earlier each night, cocooned in my eye mask, ear plugs, and white noise iPhone apps. Every day I was more tired, and watched my extroverted friends get more buzzed on the experience, having more fun, already talking about next year. They claimed to be tired, and yet were out playing Pictionary and pool games until 2 AM.
I know I was not the only person feeling introverty, as we managed to find each other, connect on the shared sense of not fitting in, or feeling overwhelmed, or not “drinking the Kool-Aid.” If I hadn’t read Susan Cain’s book Quiet
Thanks to her book, I was simply able to surf the experience. I missed an entire session because my body demanded I sleep. I walked out of “one of the best talks!” because my brain hurt. I learned to go back to my room for the late afternoon break and sit in the hot tub alone for 15 minutes. I bookmarked talks to watch later, when my brain is working again, in order to share them with you.
My friend the hot tub at dawn (45 degrees outside, steamy-hot inside)
In all, I connected with a handful of incredible people, and know that I will do a better job with our event because I attended this conference.
And next year? Chances are I’ll be in a more comfortable role, facilitating a live simulcast event here in San Diego, so that many more people can experience the power and passion of TED.
Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Do you think you would have enjoyed this experience?
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I know I would have felt exhausted and overwhelmed, despite the wonderful atmosphere. I’ve known I was an introvert for years, because my best friend pointed out how I felt drained after a get-together when she felt so energized.
When people ask me “how was it?” the first word that always comes to mind is “overwhelming.” And it was wonderful, stimulating, enriching…
Can one be a shy extrovert? I definitely get energy from others, but only others that I actually know. ;-) Sounds like a fascinating conference. And I applaud your ability to know what you need and what works for you–and then do it. Many wouldn’t. :)
I was thinking the same thing about Camp Blogaway while reading your post. Smaller is better, for me. I get more meaningful connections with people, and I can manage the flow of info better.
Ha! I was the roommate…and while everything Stephanie says is true about me getting up early, crossfitting, staying out late and talking to everyone, what isn’t true is that I am a classic extrovert. Instead, I am an introvert with highly developed social skills. What Steph didn’t see was me spending most of the day by myself watching/listening to the talks. During the breaks, I did find people to talk to because everyone there is ridiculously interesting and it was my goal to learn from my fellow TEDxsters. But, in order to recharge, I would slip away each day back to our room (which was very neat on Stephanie’s side, but less so on mine), crack open a beer and go lounge in the hot tub right outside our door. If I did not have this alone time, I would have cracked. What makes me seem like I am a classic extrovert is that I am not at all shy and have no problem striking up conversations with anyone. These are social skills I have learned in my work as a journalist/writer – and from my father who is always chatting up people. The common error is that people think that introversion equals shyness, but that is not the case. Stephanie, clearly an introvert, is not at all shy and made the perfect roommate. Knowing she was less rambunctious than myself (Hey, I don’t go on many vacations, so I try to eek out every bit of fun) I was very careful to respect her space and level of quiet. Well, as best as I could as I snuck in past 2 am after a crazy night of hot tubbing and beer drinking with geniuses. What made this TED event so wonderful is that you could do what you wanted and how you wanted to. I would definitely room with another introvert at a conference. It makes for the best of both worlds. An active social life outside of the room, while peace and quiet reign back at the room.
See, you hid it so well that I didn’t even know you are an introvert. You kept SAYING you were tired, but your actions clearly contradicted that. :) You were a great roommate and I thoroughly enjoyed watching you eat up the conference. And yes, everyone was ridiculously interesting as well. Hugs to you, my ginger pal.
I loved the book “Quiet”. I saw Susan Cain’s TED talk shortly after it was posted… and I still view it whenever I need to feel connected to someone who “gets” me. I think it’s her description of summer camp that drew me in. A memory from my own childhood, revisited in her presentation. I can’t help but wonder what the schedule would be like at a conference just for introverts. Hour-long breaks between breakout sessions? No evening events? Of course, it would take a full week for a 3-day conference. Not practical, for sure. I am extremely far to the introvert end of the innie/outie continuum. Thank you for this post. I will be bolder in my introversion at the next conference I attend. :)
Brenda, I love your question… what would an introverted conference look like? I will have to ponder that. :)
Great post! I too am an introvert, and I just get exhausted from the energy and interaction of people at conferences. I thought that I just lacked energy but you made me realize that introverts are simply wired that way. I’ve found that I can handle big conferences when I have attended them several times. THen I can carve out my smaller conference and do the things that are of value to me. But I still can’t party at night after a day of meetings and exhibits.
Yes, it’s always easier to go to these things when you already know some people.
I heard Susan Cain speak at BlissDom. I’ve always thought of myself as an extrovert, but have come to realize I’m an introvert.
People don’t believe me, but I know at a conference I’m going to need time away so I can get through the experience.
I just got back from Bloggy Bootcamp in Phoenix, and it was the perfect size to learn a lot, meat a lot of people, but not feel totally overwhelmed.
Thanks Anne. Glad to hear Bloggy BootCamp was a good experience for you.
I needed that. I’ll be going to BlogHer this summer and I am definitely an introvert.
Yes, Elizabeth, BlogHer is definitely extroverted! I think it’s partly because there are so many moms of young kids who are free to play. And play they do! My tip for that conference was to come into a room and sit at a table with someone who looked up and smiled at me. I met some awesome women there, who I am still friends with.
I am so with you, Stephanie. This is a great piece that will make a lot of people feel better. I can’t do the big parties at blog conferences — by that time, I need to have some down time. I love the book, Quiet, and am glad you brought it to people’s attention here. Thanks for sharing this.
Thanks Lois. Not surprising that most writers are introverts, which is why some of them have a tough time doing the “social” side of social media and marketing.
I’m an introvert too, but usually DO end up feeling bad. I appreciated this side of things, and probably should check out that book too ;)
Yes, Kaitlin, it’s a great book. Made me understand and appreciate both myself AND The Husband that much more.
Definitely INTROVERT! Big conferences “scare” me. But now that I know so many blogging buddies, I try to connect with them there to ease my anxiety. Even something as simple as Camp Blogaway can make me uptight. The worse part is even if I go to bed early, my head is buzzing with what I learned that I can’t sleep!
I definitely prefer smaller ones like Camp Blogaway. 100 people is much more manageable than 800!