When I had my tough weekend, about three weeks after my diagnosis, there was a lot of weeping. I had started researching Meniere’s Disease and was completely freaking out: hearing loss, potential deafness, potential disability… When the vertigo hit, it hit out of nowhere, the room was violently spinning, and lying down immediately was the safest option.
All I could think was: How can I ever plan anything ever again? How can I book a trip, or go to yoga, or go anywhere, really, without knowing whether or not I am going to get dizzy?
I worried about whether I could work. I worried about whether I could travel. I worried about whether I could leave my house.
And then one day, I started laughing.
I thought about all the times that trips get cancelled, flights are delayed, people get the flu. S#*t happens. No one is in control. Of anything!
We just THINK we are.
I realized that there was no way I could possibly feel well by acting sick.
So I stopped acting sick. I went to yoga class and parked my mat near the back wall in case I needed to lean on it. I made a flight reservation to visit wonderful friends in Portland. I said yes to a potential overseas trip in November. I kept saying yes, and investigating, and researching, and started feeling better.
Today is all we have, truly, so don’t wait. Take that step, say yes, keep moving. And don’t act sick, no matter what is going on.
This is such a powerful message, Stephanie. We all run into so many hurdles on our way to where we were heading that we have to figure out. Some turn out to be a blessing in disguise. Many just test us and hopefully make us stronger. I have BPPV right now (Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo) and so am only having a taste of what you’re dealing with. I’m hoping it will pass, and it should – although it can take a couple of months or longer – and am doing some maneuvers that help somewhat, but it’s frightening when the walls tilt and you know there isn’t an earthquake. Thanks for the uplifting message when I needed it. Yesterday was a good day. Today, not so much :-(
Thanks Susan. So sorry to hear you’re dealing with BPPV… it’s hard and scary. I’m glad the maneuvers are helping for you, and hope you find long-term permanent relief!
And you as well !
Dear Stephanie,
I enjoy your recipes and blogging. This photo of you grasping the rock touched my heart and reminded me of the comfort I find in knowing the Lord Jesus is my rock. I love the verse in Psalm 18:2. “The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, My God, my rock in whom I take refuge; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.” May you find comfort in knowing His love for you.
Blessings,
Mary
Thank you Mary, that is very sweet. Blessings to you too.
Dear Steph,
I am SO proud of what you are doing! Wow. I am truly sorry to learn about your diagnosis. I am also beyond glad to see how you are dealing with the entire situation. You have turned this into yet another opportunity for growth. I think you may be one of the most “grown” humans that I know.
Your recipes look wonderful and when my own schedule clams a bit I will be delving in.
Hugs and Blessings,
Ellen
Thank you Ellen, it means a lot coming from you, a dear friend. Thanks for taking the time to comment.
Right on, sista! You sound great… amazing! Come be my guest on Tuesday for Ed Asner at Women Who Write. Say, ‘Yes!” xo
Thanks Vicki… if I could magically teleport myself to LA I would not miss Ed Asner. Truly.
I so agree with this Stephanie! I never look at the potentials of my issues, to me that is needless worry. I believe in the power of manifestation, so thinking of the ‘what could happen’ just might help it be so.
that is not to say I ignore my diagnosis, I simply manage it the best I can, and live!
big hugs to you, still so bummed we had to leave while you were in Portland! xo
Thanks Kristina… I totally agree in the power of manifestation. We’ll see each other soon!